have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
