she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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