how hairy? two words: wookie tits
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
