So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
