Moan for me like Helen Keller
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
