yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am naked and annoyed.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
