return my video game
I have demons in me.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
