Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
