I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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