Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
