He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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