My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
