Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The uberlube is also flammable
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
COCAINE IS GR8
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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