hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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