OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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