Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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