Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
