Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
