He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
