I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
