My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
