I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
