If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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