Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
