if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
