arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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