It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
