me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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