But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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