I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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