it was like eating out sand paper
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
