maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
