Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How drunk are you?
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