I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
