Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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