Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
