worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
