I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
