So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
