Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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