And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
