Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just pee around me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
