you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am naked and annoyed.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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