You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
