And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
