Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
