and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
