I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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