Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
