Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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