Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
