By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also, beer. Big fan.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
