now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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