I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ladies don't puke and tell
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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